11 Jul The Simple Truth About Getting Your Data Off of QuickBooks Online
Step 1: Call Intuit (the maker of QuickBooks) to find out if you can save your Online Edition file for your now closed business to your desktop so you can stop paying $50/month for their service.
Step 2: Listen to the support tech lie to you and tell you it can be done very quickly and easily.
Step 3: Procrastinate for a week or so because you know she lied a little.
Step 4: Find your password somewhere.
Step 5: Email your former partner because that wasn’t the right password
Step 6: Log in AGAIN
Step 7: Attempt to download
Step 8: Watch the Internet Explorer “Wheel of Wasted Time” spin….endlessly
Step 9: Log in tomorrow when you have more time to deal with this.
Step 10: Review bank statement to see they have taken yet another $50 because you missed your monthly renewal.
Step 11: Find where in your Internet Explorer is installed on your computer because who the hell uses Internet Explorer…EVER.
Step 12: Wait 20-30 Minutes for your web browser to finally open. So you can type the web address into the tiny browser bar.
Step 13: Wait another 30 minutes for it to take you to the web page.
Step 14: Log In
Step 15: Hunt for where you request the download.
Step 16: Find hidden export request. Request your data be converted to a downloadable file.
Step 17: Realize that you can’t have your data right now and that you have to come back later after the Intuit fairies cast the magic spell on your accounting data so you can have it back.
Step 18: Forget to log back in to get your data.
Step 19: Review bank statement to see they have taken yet another $50 because you missed your monthly renewal….AGAIN.
Step 20: Attempt to download your data.
Step 21: Read error message that doesn’t tell you what’s wrong.
Step 22: Attempt download again. Read new error message…Unexpected result code from server. [GET https://qbo.intuit.com/qbo1-pprdqboas30h/export/download?file=true×tamp=1436636847199] (00000194)
Step 23: Reasearch Error message on google because the help and support links in the error message from Intuit don’t work.
Step 24: Begin the downgrade of Internet Explorer 11 to Internet Explorer 10.
Step 25: Find downgrade instructions on obscure and shady website because who on earth downgrades their web browser if they are already using the worst one.
Step 26: Spend and hour and a half downgrading IE 11 to IE 10 and restarting your computer repeatedly.
Step 27: Log back into your QuickBooks Online account and attempt download again.
Step 28: Lose your mind when you realize it won’t fully download and convert without the most up to date QuickBooks desktop edition.
Step 29: Buy $300 software you aren’t going to use to pull your critical accounting data out of the cloud.
Step 30: Attempt download again. Stop because the new desktop edition of Quickbooks keeps crashing because it needs you to install 8 upgrades and restart your computer….AGAIN.
Step 31: Call Intuit customer support because it shouldn’t be this hard you must be doing something wrong.
Step 32: Hang up on Fred your customer support agent because the connection to India is awful and you can’t understand what he is saying with his accent and the bad connection.
Step 33: Ask bookkeeper friend for assistance.
Step 34: Agree to pay her in bars of pure 24 karat gold so you don’t have to finish this.
Step 35: Accept that she has unfriended you on Facebook after the hassle you have put her through.
Step 36: Review bank statement to see they have taken yet another $50 because you missed your monthly renewal….AGAIN.
Step 37: Accept defeat and make a pro con list between the likelihood of being audited and paying $50 per month forever.
Step 38: Get surprising email from former friend that your QuickBooks data is downloaded but only 1000 of the 34,596 transactions you had posted in QuickBooks online were in the conversion file that Intuit provided you and that most of your data is not exportable. Your entire inventory is lost.
Step 38: Vomit a little.
Step 39: Cry a little.
Step 40: Call a proadvisor to set up your new QuickBooks file.
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